Lie because someone can't handle the truth..

Honest relationship is a myth, more like an oxymoron. The truth is that you will always find someone in a relationship who just can't handle the truth.  It reminds me of a story that one of my friends told me once. He was being constantly pestered by his newly married wife if he ever had any adventure in a strip joint during his bachelor days and she managed to convince the poor guy that she was just curious and wanted to know the crazy things he did in his life. Then there was the customary talk about the importance of the 3 ty's in a relationship--Sincerity, Loyalty and Honesty. It is funny that  this conversation happened during their first night when they were having their first heart-heart conversation after their wedding. My friend, who always thought that sharing his  bachelor adventures was unnecessary, in a sudden bout of self-righteousness expressed his one and only (mis)adventure to a strip joint. That single moment of insanity on his part to express the truth cost him so dear that he has to show his wife a written and signed letter from his manager as evidence every time he has to stay longer than usual at work. Now this may sound funny but it is true.

Lessons learnt from the above story:
1. When you gotta fcuk, fcuk. Don't talk.
2. Lie whenever possible to make him/her feel special. You can get away by being honest only if you look like some Greek God (or Goddess) or if you are as powerful as a certain Mr Clinton(though I bet "The Art of Lying" is one of his favorite books)

Though I have cited the example of a female, it doesn't mean males are any different. This is not the New Age mantra. It has been there ever since Eve asked Adam how much he loved her and Adam, unable to honestly express his feelings in words, chose to bite the cursed apple instead to make her feel special. Like one of my colleague says, Men gotta do what they gotta do...and more. Making him/her feel special is the only way you can hope to sustain a relationship and unless you are rich enough to buy expensive gifts every time, Lying is your only  tool to strengthen the foundation of relationship and increase mutual trust and confidence. Always remember that the perception of you being honest, sincere and loyal is more important than you being actually honest, sincere and loyal.

P.S: If you are honest and can't or don't want to lie in a relationship no matter what, then be proud of it. You may not have a  spouse/lover  as a trophy for display but you will always have a clearer conscience and a head slightly higher than the liars, if that matters.

Something better...

Some wars better be lost.
Some actions, better they cost.
Some roads better be taken.
Some hopes better be foresaken.

Some truth better to hide.
Some words better to mind.
Some promises better be broken.
Some belief better be shaken.

Confessions of an Indian Bride

I woke up uncomfortably from the disturbed bed looking at the person lying beside me. I hated the sight of his peaceful sleep especially when I am so terribly disturbed. And more than anything else, I hated myself for hating him for no reason. To my defense, I had never slept with a man before and here, I was sharing the bed with almost a stranger. Of course, he is my husband but the fact is that I saw his full human shape only 2 days back. And trust me when I say he looked quite different in those photoshop-enhanced photographs and the blurry breaking images (streamed through web cam) that were showed to me earlier. But it was too late anyway. Now, the only thing I know about him is that he works in a picturesque foreign land, earns a handsome salary(more handsome than his whole personality put together) and that he is going to take me with him to this never-land in a week.

Looking back at the past, I have never been a decision-maker, forget about being a good decision maker. I think it all began when I was 7 years old. I was a big fan of Madhuri Dixit and wanted to dance like her. But my father took me to singing classes instead. I told him that I wanted to dance but he decided that I was not good at dancing and that it was not for good girls. Though a part of me still debate if dancing is for good girls or not, I am pretty sure that I would not have made a good dancer. But the point is that I wasn't good at singing either and I dropped out of the classes within a year. Probably, it was the last time when I told him what I wanted. Since then, my parents have decided almost everything for me, my friends, my college, my stream (I took up Science while I loved Arts), the kind of clothes I wear and even the color of my lipstick when they allowed me to wear. As you see, I didn't have to make any decision all my life. Well, that is until Hemant proposed me.

Hemant was like a whiff of fresh air in my otherwise dull and bored life. In fact, I feel he was the only reason why I had a good time in the college. He was the only friend I chose, and not as if I had other choices. Our friendship was like it was bound to happen. We had an instant mutual liking for each other. He was smart, dashing, humorous and almost everything that I wanted in a man. But I thought I knew my parents won't accept him as he was my class-mate and of the same age. Moreover, even I wanted to spend my life with a well-settled matured man. Now I won't blame him that he felt hurt and shocked on my rejection and he never talked to me ever since. Last heard, he was a well settled professional in UK and still single. Yeah, I cant't help myself from checking out his profile on Facebook and I do that quite often. And you know what, he looks quite matured of late.

I got my second chance to make a decision when my parents asked me if I had someone in mind for my marriage before they look for one. Yes, they asked me and I never thought they would. But I had no choices. So, my parents went online shopping to a matrimonial site, picked five guys who looked "well settled and matured" and they left the decision on me to pick one. I picked up the same guy who I am sharing the bed with right now.

I know these thoughts will eventually subside with time. As they say, Time is a great healer. And in any case, if it hurts more, I can always direct the blame back on my parents for not training me to take a decision. But I know very well and deep within that the choice was solely mine. I chose a path of convenience rather than owning responsibility for my own life. But what if I had? I know I will never find an answer to this question but I have to live with it forever.

World's greatest business mind

While the accolades are pouring in from all parts of the world, I thought I'd just let my readers share my happiness on my blog site.

Yes, I have been awarded for the World's greatest business mind. Please visit the following link to read the full story.

http://www.themessagegroup.com.au/last-nights-news.php?title=20090109-Susant-Sabat_create.html

A childhood lost

A boy with a clean shaven head walks rather slowly and makes his way among the crowd. The house is full of people, mostly his relatives . He keeps constant vigil on the dining arrangements and inquires if all the food items have been cooked sufficiently for the guests. Seeing his immaculate arrangement, people gossip about his late father who himself was known for throwing lavish parties and feasts. They talk about how this quality had brushed onto his son. The 12 year old manages to smile at them and proceeds towards his 7 year old sister who looks like she hasn't slept for days. She is surrounded by a lot of older women trying to console her. The young girl, indifferent to the condolences, just keeps on staring at the wall. Looking at her predicament, the boy requests the surrounding women to leave him alone with his sister for a few minutes. They silently oblige as they know that the little girl had no one else closer than her elder brother. He sits beside her without uttering a word and hugs her while caressing her long black hair. The eyes of the little girl suddenly erupts with tears as she embraces her brother tightly. The sound of sobbing only grows louder as all the 50 - odd people attending the Sraddh of the kids' parents join in. While the women are more vocal, the males can be seen trying their best to hold their tears. Some people start lavishing praise on the boy for his strength and the way he has taken responsibility after the misfortune hit the family.

But he was not always that responsible.

Just 2 weeks back on a winter evening in the CST station, he was whining to his parents to buy him the book on astrology he had spotted in the store on the CST platform. He was stubborn on his demand and refused to get on the train until they oblige. While the negotiations between the parents and the boy were in progress, they missed the train and so decided to succumb to their son's demand and catch the next train. The boy was happy and started hopping to the store and his kid sister followed his rhythm. He knew how to manipulate his parents to get what he wants. Suddenly, a bang was heard just out of the station. It seemed like a wall had fell down. The crowd started running wild. Suddenly two heavily armed men appeared in front of their eyes and started firing indiscriminately at the unsuspecting crowd. The girl scared with the sudden noise pressed herself to her mother's legs while the father guarded the son in his arms. The parents showing immediate reflex forced their kids on to the floor and laid themselves over them fully covering the kids' bodies. The boy could only see in between the tiny opening of his father's bent arm and his head. He saw the armed men spraying bullets for some more minutes and then running away from the place. He was so shocked that he didn't realize the warm blood flowing on his face. The first realization occurred when his father didn't move even though other people lying beside them had already stood up. One of them helped the boy out of the heavy corpse lying above him. Looking at his father's white shirt reddened with blood, he realized that his fathers blood had trickled onto his face. He looked around and saw people with hurt limbs crawling on the blood splattered floor. The look of horror in his eyes only matched the eyes of his kid sister who was standing beside him. Her yellow frock which was gifted to her on her birthday by her mother was only a bloody mess. Before he could ask his sister if she was alright, he watched his mother's body lying in a puddle of blood. He ran towards her but it was already too late. The parents had succumbed to the bullets but had saved their kids. A sacrifice worth taking but for what reason?

The loss was huge and irreversible. Everything that gave the boy his identity till then had been snatched away from him in one fanatic act of terrorism. Something more had changed in a moment. He had turned the eldest in his surviving family of two and he had to take care of his sister. The boy had lived a decade in that single moment. A boy had been forced to become a man against his will. A childhood was lost. But for what reason?

P.S: Above is a fictional account of real people who died in the terrorist attacks that rocked Mumbai on 26th- 29th November. I am shocked, ashamed and highly enraged by the incident and my heart goes to all the men who lost their lives to this highly deplorable and despicable act. May God give the strength to their family members to tide through this incident.

HEAVEN AND HELL

The other day my client manager asked me if I believed in the concept of man going to Heaven or Hell after death. I could never convince myself that God would be that foolish to think that people will be inspired to do good things because of the gifts they will get or because of the fear that they would be punished after death. I told him I believe in the concept but I feel the place of these mythical places have been ordered inappropriately in the lifecycle or rather after-life cycle of Men.

I believe we come across Heaven and Hell in our own life time rather than after our life. We, sometimes face it as an effect for a cause, the Karma effect, and more often just to distinguish between the two diametrically opposite states of heightened human emotions, namely Happiness and Sadness. Now, as the definition of happiness and sadness can be different for different people, the meaning of Heaven and Hell can be different too. In fact I believe we have our own personal Heaven and personal Hell and one person's concept of Heaven could be another person's concept of Hell.

The following are some of the instances or periods in my lifetime where I felt or feel like being in my personal Heaven or personal Hell

• Listening to music with an uninterested and noisy crowd...HELL....listening to my favorite music alone..HEAVEN.
• Not being able to answer nature's call..HELL..answering it in the proper place and at the nick of time...HEAVEN
• Indian cricket team loses by a heavy margin..HELL...India beats Australia...HEAVEN...Sachin hits a century in the win...7th HEAVEN
• Traffic in Bangalore..HELL...solitude in Chandrabhaga(Konark) beach..HEAVEN
• The period of 4th semester in college..HELL, 3rd semester..HEAVEN...Vibranz 03..7th HEAVEN
• Times Square on 23rd May..HELL..Niagara Falls on 26th May..HEAVEN
• Shopping with women...HELL..the warmth in my beloved's arms...HEAVEN
• Frustration of failure or rejection..HELL...Succeeding after repeated failures..HEAVEN.
• Not being able to express what I feel..HELL..being able to speak my heart out and making the audience really feel what I say..HEAVEN

Before Sunset - A Review

Let me sing you a waltz.
Out of nowhere out of my thoughts.
Let me sing you a waltz .
About this one night stand.

These are the opening lines of the song that Celine sings for Jesse in the climax and could also possibly sum up the movie for you. Like the Waltz, it walks at a leisurely pace, never hurrying, involves you with it, makes you sway to its rhythm and ends in 3/4 time, a little before you expect it to end.

After watching Before Sunrise, I wondered why should anyone think of a sequel to this movie ?Why shouldn't we just be allowed to have our own versions of the climax? The romantic in me did hope that Jesse and Celine met after 6 months and that hope gave me a lot to cheer about. There is a certain romance in letting some questions unanswered. But Mr Linklater, Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy (they co-wrote the screenplay this time) had other ideas. This movie drags us from the comfort zone of escapist romanticism and pushes into the more real world with harsh realities.

Jesse is in Paris for a reading of his novel which is based on the magical one night stand in Vienna. Celine meanwhile has read the book and has come to meet him . No, they did not meet after 6 months and they are meeting after 9 long years. This movie is not about infidelity either. The story moves with them deciding to spend around one and half hours together before Jesse leaves Paris. Like its prequel, this movie derives its love for the sound of realistic conversations between the two protagonists. If the prequel was a 1 1/2 hour movie about the 14 hours that they spent together, this is a 1 hour and 15 mins movie about the 1 hour and 15 mins that they spend together. This is real-time movie making.

I just wanted another try.
I just wanted another night .
Even if it doesn't seem quite right .

Unlike Before Sunrise, the two characters are more matured now and so does their topics of conversation. They are two older intelligent persons - a novelist and an environment activist. They are both committed to other persons but they know those realtionships aren't close to the passionate and perfect one night stand they shared 9 years ago. They have both moved forward in life but always with a regret that it is not them who are together. The worst possible thing that happens to you at this juncture is that you always feel the other person is happy and enjoying his/her life without you. They do not start confessing it right away but you can always sense it is around the corner when they probe each other if they are happy with their lives. They talk about politics, the environment, their work and avoiding the questions they (as well as we ) really want to know. The confessions come slowly and in discrete before both breaking it out in the cab.

The biggest achievement that this Oscar nominated screenplay achieves is the expression of the hidden feelings between the two characters without being explicit. You can sense the tension between them even if they are not letting it out in the conversations. You can feel Celine's helplessness when she wants to touch Jesse and comfort him but has to pull away. You can almost feel their frustration of being pulled away by fate again. Their love for each other- a blessing and a curse both at the same time. A blessing because they can probably live their whole life idolizing that one magical one night stand and a curse because they wont be able to spend their life together.

I have no bitterness, my sweet .
I'll never forget this one night thing.
Even tomorrow, another arms
My heart will stay yours until I die

Ah ! the climax. The unconventional though perfect climax that haunted me for 4 consecutive nights and made me do something that I thought was unthinkable lately (Doll would agree). The movie starts with answering the questions that Before Sunrise posed and by the end, it again leaves you with a lot of new questions unanswered. The movie is like a drink that doubles your thirst the moment you stop drinking and so you want to keep on drinking. It is a lesson on love but not preachy. I'd strongly recommend this movie to anyone who has seen/felt the highs alnd lows of love . They will identify with the characters and the people who have been fortunate enough to find their love as their partner will feel lucky. Once again- Kudos to the director, the two lead actors and the team for giving us such a movie which lives with us even when we are not watching it. But this time, I'd like to give a special mention about Julie Delpy's performance in the movie and especially in the climax. Watch out for her Nina Simone impersonation.

Let me sing you a waltz.
Out of nowhere out of my thoughts.
Let me sing you a waltz .
About this one night stand.

Forgive me but I can't get rid of this song from my mind lately. Here is Julie Delpy's rendition of Let me sing you a waltz. She is a great singer too!

P.S: Thanks to all those who have watched Before Sunrise after reading my review and sorry for breaking the suspense about Jesse and Celine if you haven't watched Before Sunset yet. But let me tell you there is more to this movie. Go watch it and I am sure you'd like to add more to this review. Looking forward to your responses.